Ruh-dick-lee-us

Out at dinner I thought Junior was trying to hide the last of her sandwich behind her back, but I was wrong. It was in her other hand. After the false accusation, she gave me a look that could kill and bellows, “You thought I was scratching my back with my hangah-bur? That’s ruh-dick-lee-us!”

Wasted Wishes

Junior blew the top off a dandelion, then asked me, “If I tell you my wish, will it still come true?”

“Depends on the wish,” I said.

She smiles. “I wished for kittens.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that one is coming true.”

“Why does this always happen to me???”

Cannibals, beware!

“What if somebody wants to eat me for dinner. You know what I’ll do? I’ll kick them one hundred times. Then they will be died and won’t eat me.”

Not sure why I bother with horror movies when I’ve got my own little storyteller.

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Bedtime Story

“Once there was a zombie. His name was Frank. He walked with his arms out like this. He couldn’t talk because he  on his tongue for a whole week. But, then he got some gum, and he ate it down into his tummy. The end.”

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Normal is the New Scary

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Junior’s reaction to this playset: Wow,  that boy is kind of scary.

And another conversation while shopping…
Junior: What if I just had one giant eye?
Me: You would be a cyclops
Junior: What’s a cyclops?
Me: Somebody with one giant eye
Junior: Whoa! I want to be that!

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Sour Grapes

Junior was singing over and over again, “Barack Obama! Barack Obama! Barack Obama!” then she was quiet for a moment. After the pause, she said, “I still wish Mitt had won.”

Then about a half hour later…

Junior: Does Barack Obama care about me?
Me: Yes
Junior: Does he care about our town?
Me: Yes
Junior: Not as much as Mitt

I wonder when she will finally forget about him?

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